April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and I’d like to encourage you to look into ketamine infusions for treating PTSD. I wouldn’t be alive today if it weren’t for ketamine and the amazing doctor who was empathetic enough to get me in to his Lower Manhattan office within less than 24 hours of my call.

(Keep scrolling for the video version of this post.)

In my memoir, Amish Girl in Manhattan, I have a chapter on my re-traumatizing experiences with therapists who said they could help me with my PTSD from extreme childhood abuse (including repeat sexual assault), law enforcement’s mishandling/negligence of my case against my Wisconsin uncle Enos Bontrager, and how eventually my battle with PTSD led me to the brink of suicide. 

I even posted on Facebook that I was about to kill myself, or something to the effect that I saw no further reason for living. I’d done everything I could to stop the flashbacks and to get justice. I was at the end of the road, especially now that even law enforcement actively refused to help me, despite the fact that the statute of limitations for the State of Wisconsin was still in effect for my case. 

After reading my suicidal posts, one of my friends, Liam, urged me to try ketamine. 

“That’s for depression,” I said. “I’m suicidal, not naturally depressed. I’m only depressed as a result of the conditions that are causing my suicidal state.”

“You said you tried everything but you haven’t tried ketamine. Will you just give it a try?” 

I didn’t believe it would help me but Liam was so insistent that I thought, What the hell. I have nothing to lose. I’m going to kill myself anyway . . .

. . . so why not cross ketamine off my long list of alternative therapies, modalities, psychedelic plant medicines, and pharmaceuticals before exiting this life.

What I learned about this “designer drug,” thanks to finding Dr. Glen Brooks’ website, is that it isn’t necessarily for depression, contrary to my misinformed belief based on popular myths floating around. In fact, ketamine tends to most help those of us with a background of childhood traumas.

“Based on decades of ketamine research,” Dr. Brooks said, “post-traumatic stress isn’t a chemical imbalance and is really much more of a structural problem.” He explained how ketamine can treat the neurons in our mood centers—which never developed due to early childhood abuses—so that we PTS sufferers can have a normal mood. 

When I showed up in his office in Lower Manhattan on a bleak winter afternoon for my first infusion, I didn’t think I’d ever see the light of spring again. 

But Dr. Brooks was optimistic: “Statistically, you’re a perfect candidate for it. You fit the profile for success.” 

After just one infusion, the 24/7 flashbacks stopped their incessant loop. I noticed only brief moments that first day, but the moments were real. The flashbacks took a tiny break. 

Now, 5 years later, ketamine infusions are still the only treatment that keep me alive.

What Exactly Ketamine Is + How It Helps with PTSD, Depression, and Pain

If you think that ketamine might be an option for you or a loved one, or something that you’d like to explore to help alleviate PTS, get treated by Dr. Brooks if you can (contact info here). He’s literally helped save thousands of lives and he’s reputable. Unfortunately, too many ketamine clinics aren’t ethical for a variety of reasons. 

Click here to read a transcript or click here to watch a video of an interview I did with Dr. Brooks, where we cover everything you should be thinking about and the kinds of questions that you should be asking when you’re considering which clinician or doctor to select to give ketamine a try.

Watch the Video

Keep scrolling for the video version of this post.

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